1) You shall make fun of every religion, especially mine because I enjoy that sort of thing.
2) You shall be nice to each other, in much the way the Oryctolagus cuniculus brings you tasty breakfast food.
3) You shall partake of pancakes either at home, or at any of my conveniently located IHOP restaurants, which are now deemed to be holy places of worship, whenever you get the urge for pancakes.
4) You shall realize that news organizations are businesses and biased. You shall think for yourselves and seek my guidance in every pancake.
5) Waffles are differently shaped pancakes, a little more organized than I prefer life, but many people try to make life a waffle. Do not be disappointed when your syrup or butter runs over into the other holes. This is normal.
6) You shall use the term Waffle to explain things that are too compartmentalized for the chaos that is life, or for any politician; as Politicians are very differently-shaped pancakes from the rest of us. Forgive them.
7) Worshipping me means never having to say you're sorry.
8) The greatest evil in the world is believing you have to say or do malicious things to prove a point. More people die in conjunction with malice than any other cause. Harbor no malice.
9) You were given a brain. Not using it is the second worst evil in the world.
10) Do not hate. It never helps.